He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
