yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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