I'm drive I can fine osifer
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
