guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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