And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i drank out of a bidet.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
