The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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