Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
