we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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