As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
