i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
