Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
