Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
