I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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