did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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