did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She even gives head with a lisp.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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