just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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