the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize