if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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