First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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