He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
