You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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