I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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