DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
is wine microwaveable?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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