he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
