You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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