She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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