I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I would fuck him just for his dog
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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