Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
A+ Viking dick
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
