I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
