I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
