Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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