My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So many bounce houses so little time
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
