ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I love having hate sex.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
