ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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