youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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