i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
