i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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