good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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