What did we do last night that was yellow?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
