So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
