i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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