Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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