I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
