i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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