Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
