I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
