so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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