Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
