what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
