im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
