I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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