I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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