found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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