Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You can't just leave with hair like that
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
