Your dad touched me again.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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